Trying to get by

Today i woke with the saddest look on my face.

i dreamt of you and it felt so right. but then i woke and you weren't there.

I try everyday to just get by. Well i can't.

I have made alot of changes in my life. Some are better some are poor.

I hope she knows how much i still love her.

And how much i still want her.

KIDROCK

Why

As the saying goes"you don't know what you have till it's gone" Well it's true and i've just lost the reason to live. The reason to succeed, my reason to breath. I lost my life partner and it hurts so much. I neva thought about this. And the only person to blame is me. Why did i change my ways that caused me to become this monster. I had nothing to prove to no-one. Why did i think my actions could be justified. Just reading past messages brought tears to my eyes. About our Marriage, our unborn and our lil man. I had it all and still wanted more. Why did i push her, now all she has left in her heart for me is hatred. I said somethings i shouldn't have, lied about doing things i didn't just to hurt you. That is not the man she fell in-love with nor the man she married. The man she fell in-love with took better care of her then the man typing this. The man she married loved her way more then the one who hurt her so much. It's sad to know my marriage is over knowing i had a rare gem all the time but still looking through the rocks. It hurts knowing i hurt you and still being a spinless dog by not apologising, instead i'm letting you hate me more. I will not give up. i don't care what my family says. i can't live without you.